Gimmeoxygen's Blog

December 7, 2009

I AM A #@!*% LADY!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ruby Dabling @ 5:34 pm
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Years ago, I saw something that made me laugh for days.  A woman in a striped dress – a behemoth! something normally seen on a tether in a parade! – was using her purse to beat the crap out of a man while screaming, “I AM A FUCKING LADY, AND YOU CAN’T TREAT ME THIS WAY, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” and so on.

She continued to beat him, and to scream, until he – finally! – straightened-up, balled-up his fist and gave her a good poke in the snoot.  No one there would say she didn’t deserve it.

Immediately, she began to appeal to the people watching.  Did we see that?  Did we see him strike her?  A woman?  Would anyone, please, help her?

As a group, the crowd turned, and dispersed.  Scenes like this aren’t uncommon in the city, and it takes more to keep the interest of spectators.  I was on the bus stop bench near them, though, and close enough to hear the man when he said, “Oh, for shits’ sake, Angie, why do you have to get like this?  You know I can’t be all bruised-up on Saturday – it’ll show up on our wedding pictures!”

The woman brushed off her dress and said, “Yeah, you’re right.  We gotta lifetime to fight about it.”

It was funny at the time, but something tells me that – if Angies’ husband has survived her tender attentions – this couple is still together while many others have fallen in battle and parted.  Why?  Because they’d already seen their monsters before they tied the knot.  They knew each other.  There’d be no surprises after the “I do”.

I was married.  Briefly.  I was young, my mother was dying, and I was an emotionally needy scrap of humanity wanting someone, something to anchor me.  I didn’t have enough life experience to understand that the only valid strength you can depend on is your own, so I was trying to borrow his.

We clawed and tore at each others’ psyches for a little while before deciding that parting was the only rational option we had, but I’ve known so many couples who hate each other and grimly carry on and on and on, both disappointed in who they are.  This is something I’ve never been able to understand.

I like to imagine that the sparring couples’ monsters eventually died, or slipped into comas, or ran away to Bermuda and that Angie and her husband discovered that they’d married their best friend, so it’s okay to be good to each other.  I like to see them, in my imagination, sitting together in the evening, hand in hand, and chuckling at how they used to behave.

Yeah.

No idea why I wrote about this, but I did, so…there…

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