Gimmeoxygen's Blog

January 26, 2010

Nietzsche Baked a Mean Cake!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ruby Dabling @ 8:43 pm
Tags: , , , , ,


 1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it.

 2. Kill God. Set Him aside.

 3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

4. Ecstatically whip, as if possessed by a storm-wind of freedom, 1-1/2 cups of excellent egg whites with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1-1/2 tsp. cream of tartar. Continue until peaks are as if raised to their own heights and given wings in a fine air, a robust air.

5. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar, about 3 tbsp. at a time.

 6. You are brilliant.

7. Now, add 1 tsp. vanilla and 1/4 tsp. almond extract, and then sift together 1-1/4 cups flour and 3/4 cup sugar.

 8. Blend in God and the angel. Emboldened, add the egg mixture.

9. Gaze into the überbatter. The überbatter will gaze into you.

10. While prancing about in a frenzy of self-satisfaction and anticipation, use a rubber scraper to push the überbatter into an ungreased 10″ tube pan, for it is destined to be there.

11. Bake on a lower rack until done, usually 35-40 minutes, while reciting to the upper rack a long, convoluted anecdote about your childhood.

 12. Invert the tube pan over a bottle for a few hours. Then impetuously rap the pan. Shout, “Aha!” and slide a knife along the pan’s insides.

 13. Call what tumbles out a cake if you dare. Call it miraculous even.

14. Eat it. It is delicate, morbid, loveable, and you will die depressed, delirious, and overweight.


I didn’t  write this – though I wish I did.  If anyone knows the person who DID pen this gem, please let me know, and I’ll give him or her credit here…plus they’ll have a new fan!


Thanks to Hannah, I discovered the author of this piece is Rebecca Coffey.  Rebecca, you gave me a mile-wide smile when I first read this!



  1. Haha. That’s pretty hilarious. I think the person responsible for this piece of genius is a woman named Rebecca Coffey…? Knowing how things get misquoted nowadays though (harking back to our recent discussion), who knows…

    Comment by haelah — January 26, 2010 @ 11:38 pm | Reply

    • Good detective work, Agent Jones! I DO believe it was Ms. Coffey who is responsible for this little gem!

      Comment by Ruby Dabling — January 27, 2010 @ 2:19 am | Reply

  2. Alrighty then. It’s puff, puff, give. She was obviously holding it too long.

    Comment by TrueMan — January 26, 2010 @ 11:56 pm | Reply

  3. Dear Ruby,

    It has been almost an entire season since we last corresponded, but I just wanted to write you to say hi and that I hope you’re doing ok? Though we’d never met, your presence online both through email and blog correspondence was so wonderful, which is why when your posts tapered off back in March, I wondered if you were alright! Hopefully this finds you in good health and doing just fine…

    I would have been in touch sooner myself, but beginning in April things got very busy. Phil and I left Seattle and bought a house on Whidbey Island, right here in Puget Sound, and the slower pace of life has been wonderful for writing, There has been some social drama since we came out here — small town politics and the like — but nothing that isn’t just more fodder to talk about on Letters to Henry. I have been immensely content since coming here, and now that we’re settled I am slowly getting caught up on my stuff, just in time for a great island summer. Needless to say, it feels great. 🙂

    Your turn to update! I hope you’re doing well, and it would be great to hear from you (I hope you will make the time to start up your blog again, too! — I enjoyed it so!)

    Cheers from WA,
    Hannah 🙂

    Comment by haelah — June 19, 2010 @ 10:05 pm | Reply

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